My Kick Ass Coach

Don’t Be A Networking Nincompoop

// January 29th, 2010 // 3 Comments � // Blog // Blog

I feel compelled to tell you a story about a recent networking experience I had.  I want you to know about this so you don’t make the same mistakes the Networking Nincompoop made.

I was at a networking event and I sat next to someone I don’t know.  The whole point is to meet people you don’t know, right?  He spoke up right away and introduced himself and asked for my name.  I thought, “Wow, nice person and good networking mojo”.

Then, it all went downhill, quickly.  He then asked me what kind of business I was in and immediately after I answered the question, he launched into telling me all about his business.  He did not ask me another single question about me or my business.  He turned out to be a Networking Nimcompoop (NN).

Here are several other mistakes NN made:

*Gave me a business card without me asking for one

*Gave me a brochure without me asking for one

*Explained everything that was on said brochure, in detail, without pausing to take a breath

*Explained repeatedly why his service was far superior to his competition and started this tirade by saying, “I don’t mean to brag…”

*When addressing other participants, always found a way to take the conversation back to his service.

*Immediately after the event, sent me spam email (I did not ask for it so it is SPAM!) outlining all of his services and upcoming events

Please, please, please do not make these mistakes when networking!  Be human and be interested in other people.  Here are some do’s for networking:

*Be genuinely interested in the other person

*Go in with a desire to help

*Give your business card when ASKED for it

*Ask permission to send someone your newsletter or latest event info.

*Know that not everyone there will be your customer.  They may, however, turn out to be a great referral source, resource, business partner or friend.

*Follow up only when you have a legitimate reason to – no SPAM!

*When you make a connection and you do exchange business cards, don’t fail to follow up

Ok, I’ll step down from my soapbox now.  If someone labels you as a Networking Nincompoop, don’t say you weren’t warned!

Share your networking horror stories or wins in the comments section.

Positive Thinking or Denial?

// January 14th, 2010 // 5 Comments � // Blog // Blog

What is the difference between positive thinking and denial?  I’ve been pondering this lately and I thought I would share my thoughts with you and ask for yours.

For me, positive thinking is the equivalent of changing that negative broken record in my head.  You know the one that says everyone is against you and that you have nothing to offer.  You aren’t smart enough or pretty enough, etc., etc.

Positive thinking is retraining your brain to believe something different.  Something like, everyone loves me.  I am intelligent and capable.  I have love and support all around me.  Now that is positive thinking!

I’m sure most of you are familiar with The Secret and The Law of Attraction.  I think that sometimes people misinterpret what the Law of Attraction is about.  Essentially, the Law of Attraction says that you bring to you the equivalent of the energy you put out into the Universe.  If you put negative thoughts (energy) out, you get negative results (energy) back.  This is my VERY simplistic interpretation of a complicated law.

Does this mean that if you just think happy, positive thoughts your life will be nothing but roses?  I think not.  This, in my mind, is where people go wrong.  This is what I call denial.  You cannot make an unfortunate situation go away by pretending it isn’t there or by thinking happy thoughts about it.

The happy medium here is when you can reframe the negative thoughts in your head to something more positive and empowering AND, be realistic about your present reality.

This is my humble opinion.  Am I off base here?

Let me know what you think.  Are you thinking positively or living in denial?

Stress and Creativity

// January 6th, 2010 // 3 Comments � // Blog // Blog

Last year was the year of practicing self-care for me.  I’ve never been one to embrace the idea of self-care.  I don’t really like this term.  It makes my eyes glaze over and I have a feeling it does the same to you.  None the less, it is critically important for your well being.  Call it what you want, but learn how to do it.  I say I was practicing because I had no idea how to “care” for myself during times of stress.  What did I need?  What would work?  I tried many different strategies and what I learned is that all of them have a place and purpose.

Self care can be:

Going to bed early

Saying no

Drinking green tea

Moving your body (notice I didn’t say exercise)

Telling your truth

Getting regular chiropractic adjustments

Showing your emotions

These are just some examples.  Your self-care will probably look different.  My point is, try something; anything!  Here is why it’s important to start now.

I now realize that all that practice last year was in preparation for what is happening in my life right now.  I am under pretty serious stress.  I will avoid the details but it has to do with a close family member who is VERY ill.

Somehow, I am not breaking down.  I’m functioning; and more than that, I am thriving.  How???????

I am simply continuing my practice of self-care.  I have never done this before in a time of stress.  I am allowing my left-brain to have a rest.  I am making things easy for myself.  To my surprise, something cool is happening.  My right-brain side is opening up and coming out. 

What this means is I am full of ideas and creativity.  I’m amazed that during this time I could even think about creating something new.  That’s just it; I’m not thinking about it.  I’m letting the left-brain, thinking part of me have a rest.  I’m making it easy on myself.  This has allowed the creative part to come out.

I’m amazed and delighted at the results of this self-care experiment.  I wanted to share it with you because it just might have the same kind of effect in your life. 

What kind of self-care can you add to your daily routine?  Start small.  Start easy.  Vow to drink a cup of green tea every day.  I’m not asking that you don’t drink coffee, just add a cup of green tea.  It seems trivial but it may result in you adding more and more good things to your routine.  Give it a try and see what happens.

What do you currently do to care for yourself?  If you can’t answer this question, this is your wake up call to start today.  Let me know what you do choose.  Let’s share and help each other.

You may not be in a time of serious stress right now, but knowing life, you will be sooner or later.  Set yourself up for success now and let me know how you’re doing it.

Vicki

How to suck at blogging

// December 27th, 2009 // 4 Comments � // Blog // Blog

So this blogging thing is more difficult than it would appear to be.  At least it is for me.

Here are some tips for those of you who wish to blog or are currently blogging.  These are not tips you should follow.

These are tips you should make note of and make sure you don’t do them.  This is how to suck at blogging.

1. Only post periodically, like when you feel like it.
2. Doubt every word you write.
3. Second guess yourself at every turn.
4. Try to make your blog posts perfect.
5. Compare yourself to all the other “professional” bloggers out there.
6. Believe those voices in your head that say nobody wants to hear what you have to write about.
7. Downplay all the knowledge you have in your head.  It couldn’t possibly help someone else.
8. Write something.  Then erase it.
9. Write something else.  Now erase that.
10. When you feel the need to write a blog post, clean the cat box instead.

That’s about it.  If you follow these tips, you will definitely suck at blogging.  Hope this was helpful. 

I would write a longer/better/more inspirational post but the cat box is calling.

Vicki

Kick Ass Language

// November 30th, 2009 // 1 Comment � // Blog // Blog

The words you use when you speak to yourself are of paramount importance.  I think most of the time we don’t give it much thought.  For instance, have you ever analyzed what you say to yourself if you make what you consider to be a mistake?  I’ll bet it’s not pretty.

Saying nasty, hurtful things to yourself is just as bad as saying them to someone else.  As a matter of fact, I’m betting you would never speak to another person the way you speak to you.  This kind of beating yourself up will never motivate you to improve.  It will only bring on more self doubt.

Rather than beating yourself up, calling yourself names and wallowing, what if you used kick ass, empowering language instead?  Here are some examples:

Instead of, “I suck!”, how about, “how could I do that differently next time?”

Instead of, “this is so difficult”, how about, “this is an opportunity.”

Instead of, “I hate feeling like this”, try, “How can I give myself time and space to process my feelings?”

Instead of, “I cannot believe I said that!”, reframe it as, “what motivated me to say it that way?”

I know these might sound a bit corny but it can really make a big difference in your self confidence.  Being hard on yourself and criticizing yourself will never motivate you to be better.  It will only undermine your confidence. 

How do you speak to yourself?  Please share!  How can you use kick ass, empowering language instead?